Breaking Up with Pride: A Journey in Vulnerability
Let’s Talk About Pride
Do y’all know how long it took me to start this blog? Years. And I honestly couldn’t tell you how many if I tried.
Ever since I was little, I knew I wanted to be a writer. My Aunt Diney and Uncle Warren—two of my favorite people—gifted me a journal when I was 18 because they knew my dreams. I filled that journal with everything, and between 2018 and 2022, I wrote about starting a blog seventeen times.
It’s 2025 now, and this is my third post.
So, what stopped me? My own pride. And for what? Or for who?
Kendrick Lamar once said, Pride’s gonna be the death of you and me, and J. Cole wasn’t lying when he said Pride is the devil. Because if we’re being real, pride has taken more dreams out than failure ever could.
I wish I could say it was something deep—like I was waiting for the perfect moment or that I needed to find my voice. But the truth? I didn’t want to look like a beginner. I didn’t want to put my writing out there and have people not like it. I didn’t want to start small.
Pride had me out here thinking I had to be perfect before I even got started.
The funny thing is, pride disguises itself as confidence, but really, it’s just fear in a fancy outfit. It whispers, “If you can’t do it perfectly, don’t do it at all.” And for years, I listened.
But here I am now, three posts in, finally doing the thing I always said I would. So let’s talk about how pride holds us back—because I know I’m not the only one.
The Many Faces of Pride
Pride is sneaky. It doesn’t always show up as arrogance or thinking you’re better than everyone else. Sometimes, it’s that little voice convincing you that asking for help makes you weak. Other times, it’s that stubborn streak that makes you struggle in silence instead of admitting you need support.
I see it everywhere—probably because I’ve lived it.
The Stubborn Single Mom: She’s juggling work, kids, and a million other things but won’t let anyone babysit because she doesn’t want to seem like she “can’t handle it.”
The Struggling Student: Sitting in class, completely lost, but refusing to ask questions because they “should” already know the answer.
The Overworked Therapist (Yep, That’s Me): Drowning in responsibilities but still saying, “I got it” instead of delegating. (Plot twist: I do not, in fact, got it.)
And let’s not forget the classic “I’d rather starve than make two trips” when carrying groceries. Because, somehow, struggling up the stairs with 12 bags cutting off circulation to your fingers is better than swallowing a little pride.
Pride convinces us that we have something to prove, even when no one’s watching. It tells us that struggle is a badge of honor when, in reality, it’s often just unnecessary suffering.
So, what exactly are we holding onto—and at what cost?
When Pride Feels Like Protection
For the longest time, I thought my pride was protecting me. I told myself, I’m not putting my blog out there because I have standards. I need it to be good. I need it to be right. But if I’m being honest? It wasn’t about standards. It was about fear—fear of failure, fear of judgment, fear of looking like I didn’t know what I was doing.
Pride will have you out here convincing yourself that if you never try, you can never fail. That if you don’t ask for help, no one can reject you. That if you keep your dreams to yourself, no one can tear them down.
But let’s be real: Is it really pride, is it insecurity, or is it laziness?
I see this all the time in sessions. Clients who refuse to ask for help because they don’t want to seem weak. People who would rather suffer in silence than admit they don’t have all the answers. And I get it because I’ve been there too.
But here’s the thing—pride doesn’t protect us. It just puts us in a glass box where nothing can get in… but nothing can get out either. No growth. No progress. No real connection.
So, if you’ve ever let pride keep you from asking for help, taking a risk, or even just admitting that you don’t have it all figured out—trust me, you’re not alone. But the real flex? Letting go of the illusion of perfection and realizing that vulnerability is where the magic happens.
The Therapy Lens: How Pride Blocks Growth
Pride shows up in therapy like an uninvited guest who refuses to leave. It sits in the corner with its arms crossed, whispering, “Don’t admit that. Don’t ask for help. Don’t let them see you struggle (not even the therapist).”
But I get it. Admitting we need help feels like admitting weakness, and nobody likes to feel weak. So instead, we hold it all in, pretending we can handle everything on our own—even when it’s obvious we can’t.
Pride is one of the biggest roadblocks to healing. It keeps people from asking for support, from having tough conversations, from even stepping foot in therapy in the first place. I’ve worked with clients who would rather Google their symptoms for six months than book an appointment. I’ve done it too—trying to “fix” myself before I let anyone else in. Because if I figure it out alone, then I don’t have to feel exposed.
But here’s what I tell my clients (and myself when I need the reminder): Needing help doesn’t make you weak. It makes you human.
There’s a difference between healthy self-respect and pride that holds you back. Healthy self-respect says, “I can do hard things, but I don’t have to do them alone.” Unchecked pride says, “If I ask for help, I’ve already failed.” See the difference? One empowers you, the other traps you.
So if pride has been whispering in your ear, telling you to stay silent, to struggle in secret, to act fine when you’re anything but—take a second and check in with yourself.
Are you protecting yourself, or are you holding yourself back?
Because there’s strength in knowing when to stand alone, but there’s even more strength in knowing when to reach out.
Letting Go of Pride: The Real Glow-Up
If pride is the devil, then letting go of it must be the real glow-up. Because when I finally stopped letting pride run the show, everything changed.
I started this blog (welcome!) I started a therapy Instagram page (@TherapybyAngelique). I stopped waiting for the “perfect” moment and just did the thing. I let myself be a beginner. And you know what? Nothing burned down. Nobody showed up in my comments to tell me I sucked (yet). The world kept spinning, and I finally got to do something I had been dreaming about for years.
That’s the thing about pride—it makes you believe the worst-case scenario is guaranteed. If you ask for help, they’ll judge you. If you take a risk, you’ll fail. If you put yourself out there, you’ll embarrass yourself. But most of the time? That’s just fear talking. And even if things don’t go perfectly, so what? You learn, you grow, and you get better.
Letting go of pride doesn’t mean you stop caring about yourself or your standards. It means you stop limiting yourself. You allow yourself to be human, to ask for help, to not have all the answers. It means you stop blocking your blessings just because you’re scared to look like you don’t have it all together.
So, if pride has been holding you back, consider this your sign to let go. Start the blog. Apply for the job. Tell your people you need support. Book the therapy session. Take the risk.
Because on the other side of pride? That’s where the magic happens.
The Work in Progress
Let me be clear. I am still struggling to get over pride.
I wish I could say I wrote this blog post from the mountaintop, looking back at my old prideful self like, “Wow, she really had a lot to learn.” But the truth? I’m still in the trenches with this one.
I still hesitate before asking for help, still catch myself wanting to do everything on my own, still feel that familiar sting when I have to admit I don’t have it all figured out. Just the other day, I caught myself spending way too long trying to hang pictures up in my office by myself because I didn’t want to ask for help. (Did I almost drop a picture on my head? Maybe. Did I finally ask for help? Also, yes. Growth!)
Pride is one of those things you don’t just wake up one day and suddenly conquer—it’s a lifelong process. Some days, I do great. I let people in, I ask for what I need, I allow myself to be seen. And other days? I convince myself I can do it all alone and end up overwhelmed, frustrated, and realizing—once again—that I don’t have to.
So if you’re also working through this, you’re not behind. You’re not failing. You’re just human—figuring it out one step at a time, just like the rest of us.
And that’s the beauty of it. The more we recognize our pride, the easier it becomes to release. The more we practice vulnerability, the less scary it feels. And the more we let go of the need to be perfect, the more space we create for something even better—growth, connection, and freedom.
So here’s my commitment: I’m going to keep checking my pride. Keep asking for help when I need it. Keep pushing past the fear of looking like a beginner. And most importantly—keep writing, keep sharing, and keep reminding myself (and you) that pride doesn’t have to be the thing that holds us back.
Now, your turn. What has pride stopped you from doing? And more importantly, are you ready to let that go?
Let’s talk about it. 💜
